#234 Learning Through Looking Back: How Reflection Shapes Effective Leaders

featuring:
Draven Hope
Ben Townsend

Ever caught yourself replaying a meeting or conversation days later, questioning your every word and action? You're not alone in this leadership struggle.

Our latest installment in the Leadership is Influence series tackles the complex relationship between reflection and effective leadership. Through an insightful conversation with Liz Draven Hope from Oklahoma Wesleyan University and the show's executive producer, Ben Townsend, we explore how self-reflection can either propel your leadership forward or become a paralyzing force of self-doubt.

• Excessive self-reflection can undermine confidence and create unnecessary anxiety
• Fear often drives overthinking and becomes a "destructive force right between your ears"
• After-action reviews are valuable when they lead to learning and concrete improvements
• Effective reflection includes evaluating both successes and failures to fine-tune leadership approach
• The goal is to balance thoughtful analysis with the ability to move forward without rumination
• Situational lack of confidence affects even experienced leaders in certain contexts
• Turning reflection into action distinguishes productive analysis from unproductive worry

Visit the Scott Townsend Show YouTube channel, listen on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Leadership Reflection
• 2:43 Dangers of Excessive Self-Reflection
• 5:00 Fear as a Destructive Force
• 7:03 Turning Reflection into Action
• 8:03 Episode Conclusion

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:59

So here's another installment of our Leadership is Influence series. Liz Draven Hope, a student at Oklahoma Wesleyan University, had some questions about leadership and we recorded the interview about an hour and a half long, so I decided to chop up the interview into the different questions that Liz had for Ben and I. So this is I think this is question four. It's about reflection in leadership and how that influences how you see yourself and if you learn from mistakes.

Speaker 2: 1:42

Welcome to the Scott Townsend Show brought to you by Dietzelman Productions.

Speaker 3: 1:49

So the next one is do you ever reflect after the fact about how effective your behavior was in a particular situation? Is this ever a source of new or different insights?

Speaker 1: 2:03

I would say yes, do I ever, ever reflect? I reflect too much, way too much. As a matter of fact, uh, I would go into jordan's office and I would say you know, I said this in the meeting the other day and I'm not quite sure blah, blah, blah. Then next week, after the meeting I'm not sure how I came off on approaching that subject in that particular way blah, blah, blah the third week. You know, I thought I was coming off a little too hard, or I don't think I made my point. I don't think I made my point. And she goes, man. She finally said man, you really think a lot about what, what you say, and that's just let it go. Nobody is taking it as seriously as you are if at all.

Speaker 1: 3:03

They just heard you say something and that's it. But you replay it over and over, and over and over in your mind, you know, and days later you're still talking about it. Basically, she was saying in a nice way just shut up. You know just get over don't beat yourself up, just move on my god, uh, self-reflection is good, but, um, I was taking it to the extreme and what? What I was? What I was proving to her was that I am not a confident person and uh, um, I was well.

Speaker 3: 3:39

It's situational because I wouldn't say about you you are not a confident person, I know, know you pretty good, pretty well, but I do think it can be situational and I agree with kind of like. You know, everybody deals with fear and fear can be a very kind of controlling thing that happens. It can be a very destructive force right there between your ears. You don't have to have anybody else involved in the conversation but with yourself. You know, after something happened and there's always ways we can say things better, do things better, that sort of thing. Fear is that thing that gets into your mind and it is absolutely, you know, doggedly persecuting you and you're doing it to yourself. And so I think, I think you know, like an after action review, you know, for some kind of meeting that you had, you know, thinking back on how you said something, was your prep right. I think those things are extremely valuable but you have to turn them into learning and action so you can remove it from. You know this kind of area of regret that's really built out of low self-confidence and fear, you know. And so, if you really so, I think those things are very important. You know, as part of the learning process, whether you did something great or did something not so great, you know it was, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Speaker 3: 5:03

I think there's things you can take. I mean, this thing works so well. I'm going to always start my presentation with X, y, z, you know. Or I'm always going to have a certain number of graphs in here, you know, because it was so compelling. Or, you know, when somebody said you know was kind of opposing my idea, I think I reacted a little too emotionally to it. If you need to go apologize to the person, then go do it, you know, and then learn. Okay, so I need to. I need to learn how to be a little more measured. Or maybe I'm too measured, you know, when I'm doing stuff and I have to have um more enthusiasm, you know, than my measured response. You know it can be all those different things and fine tuning is something I don't think you ever stopped doing, but I think it's really important to do those things to to evaluate your performance and take whatever action is necessary to short up in the way you think it needs to go and then move on.

Speaker 1: 6:01

Yeah, I would agree, Do you? I mean, I reflect all the time.

Speaker 3: 6:04

I reflect too much yeah, that can kind of work you into a corner right.

Speaker 1: 6:11

Is this ever a source of new or different insights? Ever a source of new or different?

Speaker 3: 6:15

I mean you know.

Speaker 1: 6:21

I've reacted negative, I've had bad reactions to things and it didn't work out well. Good thing it's never happened to me, yeah.

Speaker 2: 7:01

The Scott Townsend Show is a Deeds O'Man production. For more episodes, visit the Scott Townsend Show is a Deeds O'Man production. For more episodes, visit the Scott Townsend Show YouTube channel, listen on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Speaker 3: 7:12

Thank you.